NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE, NEW ME

For all 2010 has been one of my better years it has still been far from perfect hence the title.

New year..... Well that's is fairly self explanatory 2011 is a whole new year and with that a whole new life for me.

New life..... Well I have decided after years of running its time to stop. My heart has been closed off from everyone and thing for years and its time I opened it up. This year I opened it up briefly. First time was at the beginning of the year while I was working for a paper in New York. I allowed my old school friend Katrina in due to the fact I saw the same fear in her eyes I had seen in my own once upon a time. The next time I did it was when I first moved here I allowed someone fully in just to be hurt by him, however in opening up my heart to him others had also managed to find their way so far in. Those people are you my friends and family. you have shown me love and support I have never had in my life and despite the fact I closed my heart back up you were still all there for me, and for this I am thankful. It is because of you I have stayed here longer than any other place and it is because of the love and support I have from you all that I have decided now is as good a time as any to stop running and to settle down in one spot. I have bought my own place and I will be opening it up in January its called Lucy's Bar and Coffee House. I'm both scared and excited about this.

New me..... I'm knocking down all the walls around my heart I know this will leave me open to lots of pain and sorrow which these walls have held out. I also know though that these walls have held out lots of joy and love as well which will now be able to enter. I know that with the continued love and support of all of you the good will out way the bad. Another way I'm a new me I'm now my own boss, however I'm not giving up my job as the advice columnist for the Bon Temps Tribune. I enjoy helping people and being here for those that need support to much so I'm continuing with that as well.

As I stated before all these changes, not just the opening of the new bar I find both exciting and frightening all at the same time, but I'm determined that 2011 will be the better year for me regardless of anything or one. I feel so lucky to have all of you in my life and hope that you will all continue to be there with me for years to come.

christmas time

merry Christmas to all my followers. I hope you are all well and that Santa was very good to you all.



I got to spend Christmas with one of my closest friends Maria Devoroe and her family including my god daughter brook. she is growing up so fast but is still my little princess and still as beautiful as ever.



I know its been a long time since I wrote anything that is because I have been very busy setting up my own business. that's right I said my own business. I bought the property a few month back. not long after I became single again and immediately started talking to designers to see exactly what I could and couldn't do. eventually work started and now its all complete.



Lucy's Bar And Coffee House will be opening in January and that is when I promise to tell you all more about it. until then. take care and I hope you all have a great new year.



Love Always Lucy

I'm not a toy you can play with so stop messing me around,


If this means nothing to you then don't stand there not making a sound.

Be a man and have the decency to tell me so at least then I will know,

And if you think this could be something good then speak up before I go.

Rest In Peace Leslie Nielsen

the world was better off for you being here.


and for every year that you were it will now shed a tear.

now your up in heaven smiling down

we promise not to cry or to frown

but to remember all the good and funny things you've done

during your time walking the earth under the sun

you made us laugh, you made us cry.

you were a hell of an actor and a hell of a guy.

a poem for a lost loved one

god blew the whistle and you had to cross the line,
from this mortal realm to a land divine.
he needed one more angle someone he knew would care,
not someone who'd sit and laugh or just stand and stare.
he needed one more angel someone filled with love,
that's why he took you from us to live with him above.

My Past

i was born november 19th 1985. I was raised, if you could call it that, in a single parent family. You may be wondering what i mean by if you could call it that. My dad left a month befor my 5th birthday. I'm guessing he had enough of my mothers behaviour and atitude but at the time like most children that age I thought i had done something wrong. My mother, in name only as she never acted much like one, had not one but two substance abuse problems. Befor my dad left she just used to drink though she was a mean drunk. I hated it when she was drunk she would shout and scream and throw things at my dad telling him how useless he was as a man how all men were the same. i would just lie there in my bed head under the cover crying wishing she would just stop. My dad wasnt useless he took me to the park, to the zoo, to doctors apointments. He was the one that cooked the meals, paid the bills, kept the house clean, yet still she would have a go at him for no reason. Like I said as a child i thought it was my fault that my dad had left i though i was to much for him to cope with as i grew older i realised it wasnt me it was her, after years of abuse he'd had enough and left. Thats when my mother started to go out everynight leaving me locked in the flat, thats when all the diffrent men started to come around, and thats when she turned not only to drink but to drugs.




I was kind of lucky in away for all she wasnt there for me my grandparents only lived a couple of blocks away and so they did things with me now and again. My favourite memory from my childhood was when they took me to the coast. i was 5 years old and it was the first time i'd seen a beach and the ocean, i think my eyes must have nearly popped out of my head. I loved pops and ma and they were my only link to my dad though when i would ask them about him they would change the subject. It wasnt untill they died i found out they hadnt heard from him after he left me mother and me. I guess he wanted a clean break.



After pops and ma died i was baisicaly left to raise myself. My mother was always either to stoned or two drunk to even notice what was going on around her. The only time she seemed sober enough and clean enough to know anyhing was when she wuld go to get her money. Every week it was the same routine, get money, get whiskey, go home, get drunk, fall asleep. Thats when i would go in her purse and take out enough money to pay the bills and buy food for us both and an extra $1 in a jar i kept hidden in my room. That was my freedom money as i called it, i knew one day i to would be like my dad and leave and knew i would need funds to make sure i could get as far away from her as possibul. Thats what my fredom money was, that was my hope of one day having a normal life whatever normal was.



As the years went by the roles were reversed. I baiscaly became the parent, making sure the bills were paid, there was food on the table, the house was clean, she got to all her apointments on time and clean. I even got a part time job after school so there was extra money coming in so we could aford to pay the bills and still put a little away for myself. The diffrent men were still coming in the house but i would always lock my door i didnt want to know who they were. When i was 15 however that changed. i was sat listening to some music when i heard my mother screaming. I ran out of my room and saw some guy hitting her because she wouldnt give him her purse. As much as I hated the woman I called mother I still wasnt about to stand there and let her get hit. Without thinkiing I jumped on his back and started hitting him only to get picked up like some old rag doll and throwen across the room. Fighting the pain as i heard my mother scream i ran to the kitchen and grabbed the largest sharpest knife i could and stuck it in his leg. He screamed so loud thought my ear drubs were about to pop, the next thing i know he was off my mum and backhanding me across the face befor running out the flat. I instictivly jumped up and locked the door behind him befor going to see if my mother was ok, only to get another back off her as she started to yell and scream at me for hurting a man she loved. After screaming back did she feel that way about all the dicks she had every night i ran and locked myself in my room and packed a bag determent to leave till i heard her crying in her room. I couldnt leave her like this she needed someone to look after her and if i didnt who would.



Four months had past and things seemed to get better my mother seemed to try and get clean. she had her relapses where she would get so drunk i'd have to put her to bed but less men were coming round and she even tried to make breakfast for me a couple of times. A couple of days after my 16th birthday i came home to find a cake on the table and a note from my mother "gone to get candles happy birthday" i laughed at the fact she was a few days late but at the same time was so happy that she had remembered for the first time in god knows how many years. I decided while i was waiting to go have a bath to relax as work had stressed me out that day. As i was geting out and wrapping a towel around myself i heard the door open and went out with a smile thinking i would find my mother there with the candles for the cake. What i saw instead was my drunken mother in the arms of some guy who would make freddy kruger look like a model. I still to this day hear his words as i worked out the bathroom "wow sweetness your hotter than your mother". Skin crawling with disgust i went into my room slaming the door behind me and got ready for bed i never realy thought anything about it. As i lay on my bed i could hear my mum and this guy laughing in her bedroom at which point i put my headphones on turned up the music and tried to go to sleep. I cant remember what time it was when i was woken by a sudden weight on top of me i felt like i couldnt breath and opening my eyes i saw the same disgusting guy naked leaning over me. i told him to get out and screamed for my mother as he tried to climb into my bed telling me he wanted to know if i was as good as her. I continued fighting and at one point felt a little relived when i saw my mother in the door way that soon faided when she smiled and walked off. Somehow im not sure how i managed to not only get out from under him but to get him out my room and quickly locked my door. As he was banging on my door i quickly got changed grabed the bag I had packed mothes earlier and the money i had been saving and climbed out the window and down the fire escape. The fact my mother had seen one of male friends trying to get her daughter all she did was smile about it. That was the last straw i couldnt stay there anymore she could look after herself from that moment on. I not only left the flat but i also left New York and got as far away as i could making sure i had enough money to survive till i could find a job.







I ended up living in some quiet all be it sleezy little back water place, the only reason i was there the rent on the apartment i found was so cheep i could aford the two months in advance. The good thing about this place was it was only a couple of hours by bus to the ocean which is where i spent a lot of my time for the first couple of weeks, remembering the good times i had at the beach with pops and ma and trying to work out what i was going to do for money. Luckily for me on the outskirts of the town there was a bar that was hireing, and again luckily for me they didnt care about your age. As long as you knew your drinks, which thanks to living with an alcoholic for so many years i did, had a pritty face and were willing to dress sexy you were hired. I didnt realy like the idear of dressing in low cut tops, mini skirts and heals while in a sleezy dive like that but it was necessary evil if i wanted the job, and unfortunatly i needed a job to be able to survive. The guys who came into this bar reminded me of the guys that my mother had brought home everynight, ugly, drunk and only after one thing. The boss was worse than the customers at times he was an ugly smelly fat slob who delited in rubbing against you as he walked past even if there was plenty of spae to get past he would still rub up against you and all i could realy do about it was force a smile and continue with what i was doing. I couldnt aford to loss the job.



As the months went past and i proved to the boss that not only to know my drinks but how to handle the customers, not only the sober ones who had little regard for manners but also the drunk ones, he seemed to relax the dress code a little my skirts got longer and my heals smaller and he never said a thing. even though i was showing less every night the first thing i would do when i got home was climb in the shower and scrub that place off me followed and if i had a realy bad day curl up on the bed and cry myself to sleep. I soon got to know most of the regulars in the bar including a woman called Stacey. she would normaly come in with her husband but there was the odd time she came in alone and when she did we would sometimes stand and talk when things were slow. We got to become good friends and would go shopping together and alsorts, it was nice to have someone i could have a laugh with and talk to. She would come round mine sometimes when her husband was away and i had a night off and we would talk about her marrige, i guess you could say it was through her i found out i seems to have a gift of being albe to help people with there problems. Because i helped her out with a few she told others how good i was and pritty soon while i was serving the customers at the bar they would satart to ask my advice on diffrent things. As much as i hated the bar my job at that point i started to like a little more and even enjoy. i wasnt having to rush home everynight to wash the smell of the place off me and some times would even stay back for a drink and a chat with the owner and a couple of the other girls who worked there. i was begining to feel like this place was home.



The night befor my 18th Stacy and a couple of the other girls from town decided to throw me a suprize party at the bar. I was so shocked when i walked in that night for work and saw streamers and balloons and banners all i could do was cry with joy i felt at last i belonged somewhere and that people did care what happened to me. I guess you could say i felt loved for the first time in a long time. Laer that night the good mood and atmosphire that was surounding me altered when Staceys husband come in and started calling her alsorts just because we were dancing and having a laugh. Grabbing her by her hair he started to drag her out of the bar and i followed trying to tell him she hadnt done anything wrong and that he should just back off go home and calm down. After pushing Stacey in the passanger side of the car he went to go round to the drivers side and i steped in frount of him pleeding with him to just let me friend go because she hadnt done anything. All i got in reply was a punch to the face at which point i dont remember much. I was laid on the floor and some guy came running across and started fighting with Staceys husband, she while that was going on had got out the car and come to see if i was ok. It didnt take long for this other guy to knock Staceys husband almost out cold then he helped her to get me up and they took me home where i fell asleep.



When i woke up Stacey was asleep on the bed beside me and the guy who had come to our rescue was asleep on the sofa. I slowely got up wincing in pain and made my way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror i could see i had a lovely big black eye which was swolen shut. As i came out the bathroom the guy woke up and introduced himself. He said his name was Wesley and that he had been watching me for awhile and had been waiting for the right moment to ask me out as he thought i looks pritty and that i was a sweet girl. I half smiled thanked him and ansewered that with the nice black eye i didnt look so pritty. He at that point kissed me and said yes i was and that he wanted to take me to dinner that night black eye and all as a birthday treat. I was in shock that anyone felt like that and agreed to go for all i didnt know him, after all he had just saved me as far as i was concerned that made him an alright person.



That night Stacey helped me to get ready and to hide the black eye as much as possibul. I'd just finished getting ready when Wesley knocked on the door. When i opened it there he was stood in a suit with a bunch of flowers, i handed the flowers to Stacey and we left. As we were driving i asked where he was taking me and he said somewhere special then pulled over on some back road. I asked why we had stoped and he said because he'd been wanting to do something ever since i got in the car he then lent over and kissed me. As the kisses got more passionate his hands started to wonder and i asked him to stop, telling him that i hadnt been with anyone befor and didnt realy want my first time to be in a car. All he did was smiel and say virgin huh. The next thing i knew the seatbelt was undone, the door locked and my seat went back and he was on top of me. At that point everything seemed to be in slow motion and silent, i was screaming but i couldnt hear it, i was hitting, biteing, scratchin but nothing seemed to stop him and he was to dam strong for me to push off. When he finaly finished he sat back in his seat smileing and sugested we now went to dinner. I just laid there numb, unable to move. when he eased me up so he could put the seat upright so he could drive us to dinner i unlocked the door and ran. finding a hole in the fence a little ways down the road and around a corner from the car i dived through it and hid behind the trees not sure if he was following me or not. It wasnt long befor i saw his car go slowely past as he looked out both ways. i stayed where i was for what seemed like hours befor dareing to move and make my way home. When i did get near to my apratment i looked in the parking lot first to make sure his car wasnt there when i saw it wasnt i ran up to my room and locked the door behind me relived that Stacey had seeminly gone home. I quickle ran a hot bath and climbed in. i didnt care the water felt like it was burning me and i started scrubbing i didnt care about the red marks i was leaving all over my body because i was scrubbing so hard i had to get clean i needed to get clean i needed him off me.



I stayed locked in my apartment for about 5 days not ansewering the phone or the door to anyone. constantly climbing in the bath trying to get clean. aftr about the 5th day i had nothing in my apartment to eat or drink so i knew i had to go outside even though i didnt want to. dressing in old baggy clothing i grabed my purse and slowely made my way out, not bothering to do my make up or hair. the worse i looked the better no guy would want to be near me and i liked that idea. as i aproached the shops i froze. There coming out of the shop was Wesley only he wasnt alone he had his arm around a girl and was kissing her. My skin begain to crawl and my blood boil not only from seeing him but from the fact i knew the girl was only 14. I decided i had to follow then and as i did i rang the local sherifs office knowing that they would come straight out as the girl in question was the nice of there sargent. with no ansewer i left a voice mail message for them saying that they had turned into a wood and that i was following. after i hug up i had last sight of them but went in anyway i wasnt going to let him hurt someone else as i was wondering in i heard her scream seeing him on top of her trying to do to her what he had done to me i saw red and picked up a large stone with both hands and hit his head as hard as i could befor grabbing the girl by the hands and running out of the wood with her constantly repeating that everything was going to be ok everthing was going to be alright. Looking back i'm not sure if i was trying to convince her or me of that fact. just as we left the wood two police cars showed up i told then what id done and where he was one of them went running to where he was while another called for an ambulance. me and the girl sat in the back of one of the police cars and waited. We watched as the the guys from the ambulence went rushing in and streachered him out.



Once he was out the officers drove us to the station for our statements. i told them everything except the fact that he had done it to me insted when they asked why i had followed him i said because i heard he had a reputation for hurting young girls and didnt want to she her get hurt. thats when they told me that he was wanted in connection to other similar incedances and not to worry what i did would be seen as self defence. i was sat numb, emotionless i could see the officer talking but i couldnt hear him. my mind was raceing i started to wonder if i would have been better off staying at home with my mother. i snaped out of the trance when another officer came in and said that it was touch and go as to if he would make it. the officers finished taking my statement and let me go the uncle of the girl was the officer who gave me a ride home. thanking me for saving his neice and saying i did hat i had to do as he had a knife at the girls throat if anyone asked i had to remember to say i did what i had to do he had a knife at her throat he made me repet it twice to him befor i got out the car. a couple of days later i found out he had died the police told me that there wasnt enough evidence to charge me so i was free to go, and go i did. i packed up all i could and moved once more this time to las vegas.





it was the compleat opiset of where i had been no one wanted to know my name, no one even seemd to want to say hello and i liked that fact. i wasnt about to make the same mistakes again. this time no one would get near my heart however at that point i lost myself to. i hit the bottle hard everyday. i lost both my jobs but i didnt care all i cared about was the alcohol, it wasnt going to hurt me, or leave me it was my best friend it was the only friend i needed.



About 3 moths had past and i woke up one morning beside some guy i had never seen befor and went to the bathroom. when i looked in the mirror what i saw shocked me no longer was i looking at my own reflection instead what i saw was my mother looking back at me. the realisation that i was becoming her frightened me into cleaning up my act. once more i moved, only this time i kept moving. i would never stay in one place for longer that 4 or 5 moths i found jobs working as an advice columnist for diffrent papers normaly just filling in while there propprer advice columnist were on holiday or ill. luckily it gave me enough money to be able to pay rent and buy food i didnt need anything else. i never let any one in i kept them all out. I built large walls around me that would stop them all from getting in. the constant moving from place to place helped me to make sure no one got in as i was never in one place long enough to make friends.





then about 9 months back i moved back to new york and got a job working at one of the papers when i saw one of my old school friends worked there also. when i saw her i was shocked to see she was covered in bruses so i draged her into the ladies room and forced her to tell me what was going on. she told me that the man she moved in with did this to her at which point i told her she had to get out of the relationship. she told me she had nowhere to go no one to turn to. looking in her eyes i saw the frightened little girl i used to be and told her she did now. she was moving in with me and i was going to help her. later that day we went to hers and packed up her things and moved them all back to mine. it felt kind of strange letting someone in but she was an old friend and needed my help. it was the least i could do for her as she and her family had been so kind to me as i was growing up. i helped her find her own place get a great job and we even found her a great guy who has been warned that if i ever hear that he has hurt her i will track him down and make him pay for it.





once she was fully settled and happy i started to look once more for a new job and so here i am in Bon Temps. when i first got here i wasnt sure if i was going to like it or even stay but somehow some of the people around this area have snuck their way into my heart as has the place its self. as for what happens now. i still am finding it hard to let people fully in but there are a couple of people who seem to manage to get a little out of me now and again though im not quite sure how.



as for the rest of it.... i guess time will tell.

JFK part three

A few weeks had passed since the two's heart to heart and nobody but the doctor knew why the two were now so close. It was only hours before the launch when the two friends came out of the doctors office all suited and booted for their trip into space.


"Ok so Mike you know what to do if anything happens?" the doctor asked. A look of worry on his face.

"Trust me." Mike said. "I'll take good care of the old man." He said patting Joseph on the shoulder.

"Hey." Joseph said smirking as he nudged Mike in the ribs. "Less of the old little boy." All three laughed as Mike and Joseph started to make their way to the launch pad.

There was an uneasy feeling that afternoon in control centre as they went through the final check lists ready for take off. Once the final thing had been checked countdown started from 20… 19… 18… Doctor Colin Reed made his way across to where everyone was standing a nervous look on his face. 15… 14…





"What's up Doc?" Asked the commander in charge.

"Well." The doctor stopped at the sound of a voice he'd not heard for a while 10… 9…





"Dad." Came the voice he turned to see young Joe running in. "I must speak to my dad." 5… 4…





"I'm sorry." Said the commander. "It's too late" 0… ignition. Joe fell to the floor. "What's wrong?" Asked the commander. Joe held out a letter which the commander took and read.

'To whom it may concern

My name is Michael Woods and I have both the honour and privilege to be joining Mr. Joseph Fredrick Keen on this next mission. Joseph has told me a lot about his family. How much he both loves and misses each and every one of you. I know how Joseph must feel as I am estranged from my family due to my father. He never could understand why I wanted to go up into space instead of selling cars like him. I had the honour of going to Joseph's house a few weeks ago. He showed me a picture of the four of you together Joe junior looks a lot like his dad as does Marc, and I can see where his daughter Lucy gets her good looks from. He told me his only regret in life was making his wife and family feel neglected and by doing so loosing them. He begged me never to make the same mistake. Joseph doesn't know I'm writing this letter, and normally I wouldn't interfere in other peoples families what with mine being so screwed up, but I thought you all had a right to know something about him. Joseph recently had some bad news. He's been ill for a while and recently the doctors have told him its cancer. Unfortunately it was left to late and it has spread throughout his body. I know this is not the ideal way to find out and that Joseph will probably kill me when he finds out I've sent it because he didn't want to burden you. Well I'll have to go again I am sorry you found out this way and if any of you need to talk I'm here.

Your friend Michael Woods.'

The commander put the letter down and looked at the doctor.

"Did you know about this?" He asked. The doctor slowly nodded yes. "My office now." The commander demanded. The doctor made his way as the commander gestured for someone to come and look after the young man. "Mr. Keen if you go with this man he'll take you somewhere quiet and I'll be with you as soon as I can." The commander watched as the young man was helped then he made his way to his office.

A few hours later both the commander and doctor emerged from the office.

"I hope you're right doctor."

"I am Commander trust me I wouldn't jeopardise the mission." The two made their way back to the control centre.

"Patch me through to the shuttle." The commander demanded.

"Can't sir."

"Don't tell me what I can't do patch me through now."

"Sir the shuttle is currently in communications black out it will be till the mission is finished Sir."

"How long ago did this happen?"

"Two minutes sir."

"Any messages before this happened?"

"Only that everything was ok."

"Thank you boy." The commander turned once more to the doctor. "I pray to God you're correct doctor and that the mission is not at risk."

Up in the shuttle the atmosphere was calm and relaxed as they entered communication blackout.

"You ok Mike?" Joseph asked his mate who was sat beside him.

"Yes fine just thinking."

"What about?" Mike turned away.

"Nothing to worry about." Just then a voice came over the intercom.

"Ok men the target of our mission is within sight. Everyone prepare to get ready." Within an hour the satellite, that had orbited the moon instead of continuing its journey onwards, had been grabbed by the extending arm and brought on board the ship to be taken to the space station for repair.

The space station had been disused for the last two years but instead of sending it crashing into some planet or off into outer space or even dismantling it they had decided to leave it in case such an event were ever to happen.

"Mike. Go and find the main control centre." The Head of the Mission ordered once they had entered the station. "Once there try and get the life support back on then we can begin to get this satellite fixed." Mike nodded and headed off down the long corridor. Within half an hour the life support was fully functional and the satellite had been placed in the workshop. While the two with the technical ability began to fix the satellite and the Head of the Mission checked their ship to make sure everything was ok Mike and Joseph found a quiet little bit of the station to talk.

"Joe I have a confession to make."

"Want I should call a priest?"

"Ha ha Joe." Mike said as he punched his arm.

"You know how you asked earlier what was up and I said nothing?"

"Yes and I knew you were lying."

"Well I was and I wasn't."

"What? You're the most confusing man I've ever known."

"Let me try and explain." Joseph turned to face Mike making him feel even more anxious about telling him what was up. "Well… you…. I… well physically and that I'm fine, but."

"But what?"

"But after telling you what's up I won't be." Joseph looked at Mike even more baffled now than he was before. Mike continued telling Joseph all about how his story of losing his family touched him but the fact he didn't want to tell his family about his current situation was one thing he didn't agree with.

"What the hell have you done Mike?"

"I wrote them a letter telling them how honoured I was to be working with you and to be friends with you. I then went on to say how you regret not having them in your life and that you now have cancer and don't want them to know." The silence that occurred after Mike had finished speaking seemed endless, like the vastness of the space outside that both men sheared a common love for. After a while Joseph slowly stood up and started to head off down the corridor.

"Are you ok Joe?" Mike shouted after him. Joseph stopped and stared at him.

"What do you think Mike? I've been betrayed by someone I thought I could trust. Next time just tell me and I'll point out the right place to stick the knife." Joseph once more turned his back on Mike and walked off towards the shuttle.

A couple of hours after this everyone was back on the shuttle and ready to take the satellite back to its launching place in outer space. Everything seemed to be going as planned little did they know that upon reloading the satellite just one little red wire was caught up on the grappling hook but no one knew.

"We're nearing the launch point prepare to realise the grappling hooks from the satellite." As the grappling hooks were released the wire was stretched from one arm to the other. "Ready to launch satellite?"

"Ready."

"Launch satellite."

"Launching satellite thrusters at one hundred percent." The satellite had just left the side of the shuttle when suddenly every alarm and light started to beep and flash. Nobody at the time knew but the burn of the satellite's thrusters had burned through the stretched wire.

"What's going on?" Mike shouted up to the cockpit.

"Not sure yet." The Head of the Mission shouted back as he started shutting everything down. After half an hour going through each system carefully and methodically the problem had been found. "Ok men well its part of the fuel system that's been damaged. Due to the fact that it happened within seconds of the satellite launching I'm surmising the fault is in the panel behind the grappling hook. This means one of us has to go out there see what, if any, damage there is and if possible, fix it." All five men looked from one to another mumbling.

"I'll go." said Joseph.

"You can't." replied Mike. The two stared at each other.

"What's going on?" The Head of the Mission asked sharply.

"He's ill he shouldn't go out there." Mike said. The commander turned sharply to look at Joseph.

"He's right." Joseph answered. "Which is all the more reason for me to go out."

"Less reason." Mike answered angrily.

"I'm terminal for God sake Mike. I'm retiring next month, if I'm alive to see it because best case scenario I only have two and a half months left to live. I should go out I have a hell of a lot less to lose than any of you guys if it goes wrong out there." Mike went to reply but the commander beat him to it.

"Joe you're right it does make more sense and Mike." He said turning towards him. "He's more than qualified to fix any problem out there he's also more qualified than any of us to be out here full stop." Joseph made his way to the suit's.

He suited up quickly and stepped into the air lock. After tying himself off him so he wouldn't float away, opened the outer door and made his way slowly and carefully around to the problem area.

"Ok I'm there." Joseph said.

"What can you see?" Came the voice over the headset in his helmet.

"It looks like one of the wires has snapped." Joseph tried to reach but was just short of reaching it. "I'm going to have to unhook myself." Joseph said.

"Joe don't. Wait a minute and one of us will extend the tether from this side." But it was too late. Joseph had untied himself and pulled his way across.

"Ok I'm there. I'm right the red wires been broken it looks like the thruster of the satellite has burned straight through." Joseph grabbed the two ends of the wire. "Ok I'm going to connect the wires now." There was a slight flash, and a small burst of energy that hit Joseph as he connected the wires. Within seconds of the wires being connected everything inside the ship started working properly once more. Amongst the shouts of joy and clapping that was coming through the headset came a voice.

"Ok Joe everything's good here make your way back in and we'll head off home." There was a silence from Joseph's end of the radio. "Joe can you hear me?" The commander asked the shouts of joy from the other men stopped as still there was no answer. "Joe."

"I'm here, but err there's a bit of a problem about coming back."

"What do you mean?" Mike chirped in anxiously.

"Take a look out the starboard window." The men looked. There floating out of reach was Joseph.

"Hi guys." He said waving.

"Joe hold on I'm coming." Mike said. The commander grabbed Mikes arm.

"Mike." Joseph said. "You can't none of the other tanks have enough oxygen."

"We can't just leave you." Mike said fighting the tears back that were starting to well up in his eyes. The commander shook his head and Mike collapsed in a heap.

"Let's go guys." The commander said fighting back tears. "Joe." He said turning towards the window and looking out.

"I know." Joseph replied. "Get going. I'm just going to hang around here and do a bit of singing." He said light heartedly as the shuttle slowly moved further away form Joseph he started to sing and his voice filled the shuttle through its speakers. "Amazing Grace how sweet the sound." Mike smiled as the sound of Joseph singing this song.

"I'll tell your family for you." Mike said.

"Thanks son." Joseph said interrupting his song then starting up again. Soon the shuttle fell silent as Joseph was out of communication range. Joseph stopped singing and slowly began to close his eyes. A bright white light blinded him and heavenly voices filled his ears with singing. 'So that's where I went wrong.' He thought to himself after seeing the point where Roses love began to fade for him. 'I wish I could take it back.'

Later that day the shuttle landed Joe junior was the first out to the tarmac.

"Dad." He shouted. One by one the men left the shuttle. Mike was the first and made his way to Joe junior.

"Are you Joseph Keen?" He asked.

"Yes." Mike stood to attention and saluted.

"Michael Woods sir. May I say what an honour it was to serve with such a brave man like that of your father." One by one each of the men did the same, each saying what an honour it had been and how they would miss him. Joe junior after the last man had gone fell to the floor Doctor Colin Reed came to his aid.

"My dad never knew I loved him." he said to the doctor.

"Of course he did son and he never stopped loving you either." He replied as they walked back into the building together.

J.F.K. part two

That afternoon he arrived at N.A.S.A. to start the barrage of tests required. He turned off the engine and sat with his head and hands on the steering wheel. 'Snap out of it Joseph' he said to himself. 'What if it's the psychological tests today?' He thought. 'You need to get your work head on.' He pulled the keys out of the ignition undid his seatbelt and got out of the car.


"Hi granddad ready to get your ass beat?" Joseph turned to see who it was although deep down he already knew who he'd see.

"Tell you what Mike wait till you're out of dypers then come back and say that boy." Joseph replied as he made his way round to the boot of the car.

"You're pretty cool for an old bloke." The young lad replied patting Joseph on the back as he walked past his bag slung over his left shoulder, like he was off to the gym.

Michael Woods was the youngest of the five men to be picked to go on this mission. For all he teased Joseph about how old he was he looked up to and admired him. Mike like Joseph had always wanted to be an astronaut and as a young boy he had sat engrossed watching every launch and landing that was televised. Joseph had always been his childhood hero and here he was now working with him. He couldn't believe his luck although he'd never tell Joseph any of that.

As Joseph entered the building the other four were stood waiting for a training schedule and to be told their room numbers for their stay. All of the men were mumbling amongst themselves.

"Ok gentlemen if I could have some quiet please." Their commander stood in front of them. He commenced handing out little booklets. "Inside of these booklets you will see your training schedule."

"Oh God no." Came a voice from near the back. Everyone turned to look at Joseph. Joseph was staring at a man who was approaching. "Thought you'd have been struck off by now?" Joseph said.

"No such luck pal." Came the reply. The two men gave each other a manly hug.

"Well." said the commander. "I can see that at least one of you knows our doctor." The doctor left the side of his old friend and made his way to the commander. "Gentlemen this is Doctor Colin Reed he'll be doing most if not all your physicals, and the extra good news, the basic physical begins now." There were mumbles of disappointment. "Now ladies." The commander shouted. "Stop the mumbling and come this way." The commander headed towards a room off to the left. Opening the door he turned to face the men. "If you leave your bags in here then follow the doctor, once he has finished with you come back here collect your bags and one of the keys in this bowl and make your way up to your room. May I suggest that you get plenty of rest when there because serious training starts tomorrow." With that the commander left and the men did as they were told dumping their bags in the room then following the doctor.

Soon all but Joseph and Michael had seen the doctor. As he came out saying goodbye to one of the other men Joseph stood up. Michael Woods your next. Joseph sat back down head in hands as he heard the door click shut. It seemed like an eternity to Joseph before the door reopened and Mike and the doctor remerged.

"Thanks doc." Mike said shaking his hand.

"Anytime son and don't forget to say hi to that old man of yours for me."

"I won't." He replied as he went off to retrieve his bag.

"Ok J.F.K. you're next."

"About bloody time." He said standing up and making his way into the room. "So why am I the last?"

"Because you're the most important."

"What?"

"Well I'll get spend as much time as I want or need with you as there's no one else to worry about." Both men started laughing. "So Joe."

"Oh God he's a poet."

"How is everything?" Joseph smiled and started to tell Colin the family news. "And how are you Joe" Colin asked.

"I'm one hundred percent."

"One hundred percent?"

"Yes."

"One hundred percent fit one hundred percent ill?"

"Fit of course."

"Ok." Colin slowly nodded his head. "Does that include your cancer?" Colin asked.

"What?"

"Your cancer. Is it one hundred percent fit as well?"

"How, how do you know?"

"Your doc called after you left." Joseph sat down.

"What are you going to do?"

"Well."

"Please Colin you've got to let me go up."

"Tell you what if you get the best results you can go up."

"I will beat them all you know it."

"I do?" There was a moment of silence as the two men just stared at each other. Colin was the first to break the silence. "So Joe you going to find your room or are you just going to sit looking longingly into my eyes?"

"Cheeky bugger." Joseph replied as he stood up. He made his way slowly to the door a deep thoughtful look on his face. "Colin." He said looking up after opening the door.

"Yes."

"Can we keep this just between us?"

"Well as doctor for the mission I should let the powers that be know about this but…" There was a pause that seemed like time had stopped. "I was your friend before I was doctor for this mission so I won't tell anyone. But the second it seems like you could endanger the mission then."

"I understand." Joseph replied forcing a little smile onto his face as he shut the door.

The next week was filled with simulations, zero gravity, G forces, and shuttle simulator. Although on the seventh day they rested. As all of the guys were sat watching some telly in the lounge the Commanding Officer walked in.

"Gentlemen if I can have your attention. In these folders that you are receiving is your mission statement in the red section you will see the exact part of the mission you are responsible for." The commander turned to leave then looked back to add one more thing. "Oh and gentlemen good news you will all be woken at six in the morning by the P.T.I.'s Good luck." He added leaving the room.

The next morning both Michael Woods and Joseph were up and dressed at quarter to six. At six sharp a loud commotion came from the passage. Both Mike and Joseph opened their doors simultaneously and looked down the corridor to see the P.T.I.'s shouting and screaming. Banging on the doors barging through them and dragging the half asleep men out of their bed lining them up in the corridor and shouting.

"Come on maggots wake up you have a long day ahead of you." As they got near to Joseph and Mike they looked at them. "Well done guys up and dressed but let's see how you do through the day." He commented as he went past.

Within two hours everyone was dressed out warmed up and ready the P.T.I.'s handed everyone a map with a twelve mile route marked on it.

"First one back can go back to bed everyone else will do two more hours of training. Except the last man who will do three extra hours." The P.T.I. got out his watch. "And go." He shouted as they all ran off. The path they had to follow was clear despite there being a sprinkling of snow covering the ground like a light sprinkling of caster sugar on a cake. Five miles into the route Mike went down both he and Joseph were in the lead at that point.

"You ok Mike?" Joseph asked as a couple of others ran past.

"It's my ankle I think it's busted." He said pulling himself onto a nearby log. Joseph sat beside him. After the last man ran past Mike immediately stood up.

"I thought your ankle was busted?" Joseph asked.

"I lied."

"You what?" Joseph shouted and turned to continue the run.

"Joseph I know something's going on." Mike said grabbing his arm and turning him around.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He replied shrugging Mikes hand off him.

"The other day when you got that nose bleed Doctor Reed came running over like your leg had been amputated. That's not normal." Joseph stood staring silently. "What's wrong Joe? I promise I can keep my gob shut."

"I have cancer ok."

"Wow." There was a long silence. "I'm sorry. What I mean."

"Look. I don't feel like doing extra P.T. do you?"

"No."

"Right well lets get this done and under our belt then we'll talk later." Mike nodded with agreement and both men ran off at top speed. They both soon caught up and over took the rest of the men with only one mile left the race was on. Neither of them wanted to be second. When they crossed the line the P.T.I. with the watch could only say

"Wow."

"What's up?" The one with the clipboard asked.

"New record." he replied giving the time.

"Which one got that?" He asked pen poised ready to write beside the name.

"Both." The third man chirped in. "They both crossed together." Lying slightly dazed and completely tired both Joseph and Mike sat up when one of the men headed their way.

"Congratulations." he said. "New record." Both Joseph and Mike looked.

"So." Mike said gasping for breath. "Who has to stay?"

"Neither, you both crossed together congratulations again." Mike and Joseph helped each other up onto there feet and off towards their quarters. After a couple of hours Mike knocked on Joseph's door.

"You ready to talk to me?" He asked a still half asleep Joseph.

"Yes. Just not here meet me downstairs and we'll go for a drive and a chat." With that he shut the door and Mike made his way downstairs to the lobby.

Once in Joseph's car they drove back to his.

"Welcome to my place." Joseph smiled as he opened the door and gestured for Mike to enter. Mike smiled as he walked past Joseph and into what looked like the sitting room. Mike followed Joseph as he made his way through the house to the back and into his study. He opened the book that was on the desk and turned it to face Mike. "That's the family." He said as Mike picked up the book.

"You look good together."

"You think?" Joseph turned from Mike to look out the window, tears in his eyes. "I lost them."

"What do you mean?" Joseph turned again.

"My wife was neglected I spent twenty four seven with stars. Space was and is my life and I lost my family through it." He turned to Mike. "Don't make the same mistake Son. When you find someone the right someone make her your life not space."

"Do they know about the cancer?"

"No and I don't want them to." Joseph sat Mike down on the chair and told him everything about his family.

JFK part one

Joseph Fredrick Keen or JFK to his friends, sat alone in his study, book in hand, wondering how his life would be now if he'd done some things differently. He'd never been one for thinking 'what if' but now things were about to change. The one thing he had always loved, that had always kept him going, was about to be eliminated and now he realized that without it his life was going to be insignificant


Joseph had always been interested in space and as a child he had spent many an hour laid on his back in the yard watching and studying the stars. At the age of ten his father bought him a telescope and a book on all the different constellations in sky. Joseph's father had spent most of his life as a pilot in the air force. Towards the end of his career he'd moved to NASA. This was the best Joseph thought especially when his father had arranged for him to have a look around, that visit was the start of it all, and he was convinced that he was going to become an astronaut. Once old enough he set off to university to do the degrees required to become an astronaut. Despite the death of his father, due to an unusual accident while at NASA, on the morning of his exams he passed them all with honours. He then proceeded to do the one year training programme that was required for all candidates to do, at Johnson Space Centre Houston. This is where he'd first seen her, the most beautiful girl in the entire world. His Rose.

The phone began to ring; this snapped him out of his trance and thoughts of the past. Slowly and gently he placed the book onto his desk and picked up the receiver.

"Hello."

"Hello Mr Keen. This is Doctor West."

"Oh hi Doctor how can I help?"

"Mr Keen I was wondering if it would be possible for you to make an appointment to see me as I have your test results back and I would like to go through them with you. When would you be available?"

"Well I have training tomorrow afternoon. Off into the mystery of the stars in a few months you know."

"So I heard. Would you be free in the morning say about 9-45am?"

"Yes that would be fine."

"Ok. Well I'll see you then Mr Keen. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." Placing the receiver back down, once more he picked up the book with his scar covered hands, gently his long slender fingers traced the outline of the picture of a woman and three children. "Where did I go so wrong?" He asked himself looking first at the picture then at the scars on his hands and arms. His whole body was covered in scars, what with accidents at work and the two falls off his bike. All the scars had healed pretty quickly and quite well. All except one, the largest scar, this one he'd had for years now it never seemed to get better then like he'd said to one of his work colleagues once 'a wounded heart never heals fully its just the pain becomes more bearable to deal with.'

The following morning JFK was up bright and early and was just getting back from his six mile run when he heard his telephone ring. He fumbled in his pocket for the keys and quickly opened the door, but to no avail, he was too late and the answer phone had picked it up. 'Hi I'm not here at the moment please leave your message after the beep.' There was a long tone then a soft sweet voice came on.

"Hi dad it's Lucy. Just thought I'd give you a quick call see how you are and to wish you a happy retirement." Joseph sat listening he loved the sound of her voice it reminded him of how her mother used to sound. "I know it's a bit early but I have been accepted into The Royal College of Surgeons, Edinburgh, I fly over in a few weeks time. I'm so excited. It's everything I hoped for, and to get into such a prestigious college. Well enough about me lets go threw the rest of the family." Joseph sat still and quiet, a tear gently trickled down his face, now he felt his baby girl was being took from him, first his career now his daughter, what other cruel blow could life have for him he wondered as he listened intently to the rest of what she had to say. "Well I guess start with the youngest and work up. Ok that means Marc first. I know he keeps in touch with you now and again well once every blue moon" she giggled "well he managed to get into law school with financial support of the navy he's currently doing work placement with wait for it J.A.G. Can you believe it! My little bro at J.A.G. and they said once he's passed he has a permanent place there. Next well that would be me and you already know my big news. Next big brother Joe. You know sometimes that man is worse than a dad. No offence. I know you don't tend to keep in touch but you might want to give him a call to congratulate him, twice over, first on his promotion and second on the birth of his daughter Rose. I've posted some pictures of her to you. That leaves mum. She's doing quiet well she still talks a lot about you when Joe's not there anyway. Well that's it I have to go. Love you dad take care." There was a click as his daughter hung her receiver up and another as the answer phone stopped. Slowly he stood up and made his way to the machine. Removing the tape he kissed it and placed it gently in a draw with countless numbers of others and replaced it with a new tape. Looking at his watch he noticed the time. Quickly he ran upstairs for a quick shower and to get changed before heading off to see the doctor.

It was 9-39am. when he got to the doctors

"Hello Mr. Keen" the receptionist said with a smile on her face. "If you take a seat I'll let Doctor West know you're here." As Joseph made his way to a seat he saw out the corner of his eye the receptionist hurry down the corridor. It wasn't long after that he heard the familiar voice of his doctor.

"Hello Mr Keen"

"Doctor West"

"If you'd like to follow me." The doctor gestured for Joseph to follow him down the corridor. The walk down the corridor to Doctor West's room seemed to take an eternity. It was kind of like when he was a young child being led down the corridor by his mum to the nurse's room for an injection. A cold shiver ran down his spine he had a sudden feeling of dread that the doctor was going to give him bad news after all if it had all been ok wouldn't he have said over the phone. 'No' Joseph thought pushing the negativity to the back of his mind. Just because everything else had gone wrong up till now didn't mean this was. The doctor was just being thorough.

"In here please Mr Keen." Joseph suddenly snapped back to reality as the doctor opened the door to his room. "Please take a seat Mr. Keen." Joseph made his way across to the seat at the opposite side of the room near the big dark mahogany desk. "Mr. Keen you must be wondering why it is that I asked you to come in?"

"I was a bit curious Doctor."

"Well Mr. Keen unfortunately its not good news." Joseph felt like a knife had just been stuck into him. "What do you mean?" He asked hoping that wasn't anything that could not be fixed.

"It's as we feared Mr. Keen the results of the biopsy confirmed that the tumour is cancerous and is malignant." Josephs face turned milky white at this point, why was God doing this to him, he wondered, what had he ever done that deserved all this.

"But you can fix it right?" he asked hopefully.

"You see Mr. Keen because you'd waited for so long to come and see us we did extra tests and scans that we would not normally do."

"But is the cancer fixable?"

"Unfortunately Mr. Keen we can't. The extra tests and scans we did showed us that the cancer cells have actually spread throughout your body."

"Oh. So what is the best case scenario Doctor?" Joseph asked putting on a brave front, something that his father had always instilled into him.

"Best case scenario Mr. Keen is not that good."

"Please Doctor just tell me."

"Looking at the results Mr. Keen worst case scenario three months, best case scenario six months."

"So I'll still be able to go up to space?"

"If your health remains at the standard that it currently is then as long as your bosses don't have any problems I cant see why not."

"Well then thank you Doctor." Joseph stood up holding out his hand.

"Mr. Keen." The doctor said as he shook Joseph's hand. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"A new body." He laughed.

"I can arrange for you to talk to someone if you'd like me to Mr. Keen?"

"No I'm fine." He said walking towards the door. As he walked down the corridor he felt the knife that had been stuck in him earlier start to twist.

Well i'm sorry again for not postin in so long. for awhile i was so busy at merlottes i was seriously concidering putting my bed behind the bar i was spending so much time working there, not that i minded at the time after all i was dateing the owner, then sam told me to take some time off which i am greatful for.

you may have noticed i said was dateing. sam lastweek decided to tell me via text he wanted out of the relationship. by the time i got home that night nearly all his things were gone. we have spoken since and have agreed to remain friends. seeminly he just wasnt ready for a relationship yet, which is something i wish he had worked out befor we got together.

well thats all i realy have for you for now, since the split i kind of kept myself away from everyone for a few but now im back to socialising. went to a halloween party at fangtasia and a adam lambert concert and club raven. loved both but the concert rocked.

one final bit of news. my good friend maria has just recently given birth to the most beautiful little girl i've ever seen and i have been asked to be her godmother. needless to say i said yes. will tell you more about her and everything else later for now i have to go. i'll try not to leave it so log next time.

love always lucy

sorry its been so long

Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote but I have been so busy and this is the first chance I have had to wrote anything for myself.

As I mentioned in my last post I'm dating the handsome Sam Merlotte. I still find it hard to believe that I am lucky enough to have found someone like him. Things between us are going so well that on the 14th he moved in with me, part of me wasn't sure if he was as keen as I was about it until I got home that day from getting him a key cut and found that he had already moved his stuff in, so seemingly he was just as eager as I was to take that step as well. Him and Ty are getting on really well in fact it can be quite funny when Sam turns into a dog Ty always looks so confused.

My job at Merlottes has kept me busy. After Sam moved into mine we decided it might be good for him to take a few days off and I would run the place. A few days was kind of extended not that I minded he deserved time off. Heaven only knows when he last had a break because I get the feeling he finds it hard to trust people so I cant see him leaving anyone in charge of the bar. I was glad to see he was comfy he was with stopping at ours and leaving the bar in my hands but I'm also kind of pleased that he is back there now so that I can finally have a little break, though part of me kind of me kind of hopes he isn't to happy to be back because that would mean he is willing to take time off now and again.

My job at the paper is also going well. the boss was so impressed with my article about children with learning difficulties he sent me on an assignment to go to a school that has just recently opened up for children with difficulties. I was so scared as I've never really written a proper article before and I have never been on assignment so I took my friend Fran with me as my photographer as seen as she always has her camera with her. Things went really well I loved meeting all the children there and I got a great article out of it and Fran took some fantastic photos.

As well as all of the above I have recently decorated my spare room. Fran who I mentioned above is pregnant with twins and has asked if now and again me and Sam would mind having them stop over night so I redecorated the room for them, they even have there own cots there especially as at least one night a month if not more they will have to stop as Fran and her partner are both shape shifters and so wont be able to look after the baby's on the nights with a full moon. Part of me is so looking forward to them arriving. I guess me and Sam are going to be the aunty and uncle that spoils them.

Well I better go as I still have lots to do. I'll try to write here more now Sam's back behind the bar.

Love Always Lucy

this last week

Wow well what a week I have had.

For a while now I have had feelings for a certain barman here in Bon Temps, (not that I think that was much of a secret to anyone), but I've never really found the right words to say, or found the right time to say them. Well that all changed at the weekend. I am now dating the incredibly hot Mr Sam Merlotte and I couldn't be happier.

As well as that now not only am I working for the paper but I'm also working at Merlottes. It's meant to be a part time thing just steppin in when they are short staffed, but thanks to Sam keep vanishing off to run errant's its starting to turn out to be more like a full time thing, not that I'm complaining. I love working behind the bar and meeting even more of the residence here. Besides where as helping people is the perk of my newspaper job the the perk working at Merlottes is much better, it means I get to spend more time with my hunny even if I have to share him with a bar full of others.

Well I got to go do some work so until next time, take care. Love Always Lucy

New Column (Children With Learning Difficulties In Mainstream Schools)

Children With Learning Difficulties In Mainstream Schools

As more and more children are being diagnosed with having a specific learning disorder, the most common being dyslexia, is enough being done to help them?




In a class of thirty or more pupils can one teacher really be expected to take the time to spend with one individual child who may have a specific disorder.



As an advice columnist I have had a lot of letters over the years from parents of children with difficulties. Parents who feel that their children are not getting the help they need at the schools they are currently at, and that the more they seem to fight the system to try and get them the help they need the more barriers they seem to come up against.



Because more children are being diagnosed as having some form of difficulty, would it not be more beneficial for all the teachers themselves to be taught in multi sensory learning techniques instead of trying to teach them that all children are to be taught the same way. Multi sensory learning techniques would benefit all children not just the ones with learning difficulties. Teachers, schools and the government should be aware, they are not programming a conveyer belt of identical robots, but are teaching a group of thirty and some times more individuals. As we know no two individuals think, act, or look the same so why assume that thirty individuals could learn the same way.

my writting part 3

stopping kissing her, slowly he pulled away slightly to look her in the eyes "did I ever say that to you" he asked smiling wrapping his arms tighter around her waist. gazing into his sparkling blue eyes she smiles "I guess not" she whispered standing on her tip toes to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek. smiling he moved his hands to tenderly take hers and lead her back to where they had been sitting. "I would never ask you to leave" he said smiling at her "if I had my way you would never leave my side" he said sitting down and pulling her onto his lap. smiling she looked down at the floor not believing how lucky she truly was to find this man who loved her so much, who's smile made the whole world seem brighter and who's eyes seemed to sparkle like nothing she had ever seen before. as he wrapped one of his strong arms around her she smiled even more just knowing he was there holding her made it feel like nothing would ever hurt her again. stroking her cheek with one hand he whispered "what are you thinking". wrapping both her arms around his neck and looking deep into his eyes she replied "just how lucky I am to have found you" she smiled resting her head on his shoulder. "not only found me but now your stuck with me" he said kissing her forehead. smiling she raised her head and placed a hand on his face and gently kissed his lips. "I can think of worse" she said looking deep into his eyes smiling. "good" he whispered as his lips found hers. and his hand that was on her cheek slowly moved around to the back of her head pulling her in even closer before gently traced its way down her arm and around her waist. "still want to leave" he asked smiling. "never" she replied gazing up on the face of a man that she could not believe could have done the things she had been told he had. how could such a loving and tender being be so cold and violent. slowly he removed his hands from around her waist an reached over to a large box by the side of the couch that they were sitting on and opened it. "well" he said smiling "if the answer is never we better at least try and make ourselves more comfortable" with that he placed one of his arms once more around her and the other under her legs gently scooping her up into his arms as he stood before placing her where he had seconds ago been sat. smiling she looked up at him "more comfortable" she asked "and how do you plan on doing that". "you will see my dear" he said walking to the box and reaching in.

continuation of my writting

as he began to turn her face she quickly closed her eyes feeling the tears well up inside them. "please look at me" he said gently. trying to lower head but unable to she closed her eyes tighter as the tears began to escape. see her tears starting to flow he moved closer cupping her face gently with both hands and tenderly wiping the tears away "tell me what's wrong" he whispered. opening her eyes to look at him she wasn't sure exactly what to say. she had no idea her self as to why she was crying. she was here with a man who seemed to truly love her and who had captured her heart and yet all she could do was cry. closing her eyes once more she searched for the right answer to give him. as she searched he gently kissed her eyes. "I wish you would tell me what has you so upset" he whispered. moving his hands from her face he wrapped them around her pulling her in tight. finally finding her voice she replied "I don't know" and gazed up into his eyes. "tonight has been so perfect" she said gently shaking her head "I just" she paused for a moment "I just don't know" she began to sob. taking her coat from her and placing it back on the table he slowly led her back to where they had been sitting. "are you afraid" he asked. looking up at him she tried to smile "I guess I am a little". slowly he let go of her hand and moved away a little from her. "I'm sorry" he said "it was not my intent to frighten you". standing up he moved slowly away from her "perhaps you should leave" he said not turning to look at her. rising and moving to stand behind him she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I'm not frightened of you. you have been nothing but kind" slowly she smiled as he turned to look at her "how could I be frightened of such a perfect gentleman" her smile widening as she saw his smile once more light up on his face. "I'm frightened of this" she said looking down trying to search for the right words to use then once more meeting his gaze with hers "I am frightened of losing what we have. my feelings" she said continued trying once more to hold back the emotions that were trying to over power her. "I guess I'm frightened that something is going to happen to take this away from us". smiling he gently turned wrapping his arms around her "and do you really think I would let any one or any thing do that" he said gently kissing her. returning his kiss she wrapped her arms around her waist whispering "something's cant be stopped" she replied. grinning he pulled her in tightly "like my love for you" he smiled gently kissing her once more. the sent he wore along with the feeling of his lips gently caressing her neck made all her worries and troubles slowly vanish. "that's not quite what I meant" she whispered smiling at his resolve that they would be together. "I thought you wanted me to leave" she continued trying hard not to giggle.

as i was sitting and writting i came up with the following

staring into his blue eyes she wondered if he could truly see down deep into her soul as she felt he did. quickly turning from his gaze she rushed to the other side of the room. she didn't want him to see the hurt and pain that hid behind her eyes. she didn't want him to see the high walls that she had wrapped around her heart as a defence to stop her from getting hurt again.


"its starting to get late I should go" she said almost in a half whisper

"must you?" he asked not moving from where he sat.

turning to look at him she forced a smile on to her face. "is that your way of asking me not to" she turned once more to pick up her coat feeling the smile beginning to fade from her face. standing up right she could feel that he was now right behind her. as her eyes filled with tears she dared not turn as she didn't want him to see her like this. placing his hands on the top of her arms he moved in closer and whispered into her ear "please stay". trying with all her might to hold in the emotion that was now starting to take over her she moved quickly releasing her self from his hold and making her way to the door only for him to rush in front of her and block her way. "please" he said again and then noticing her trying to hide her face from him he gently cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her to look at him.

Pets

Since my friend who helped me to move went home i've been feeling a little lonely, untill now. Yesterday i went to a near by pound and brought home two of the sweetest dogs i've ever met.

Ty is the younger of the two. He is a 7year 7 month old German Shepherd, Collie cross and to say he is on the ball is an understatment. Nothing gets past this boy and he is very curious about everything and everyone he sees. He also loves to play fetch with his favourite ball.

Boyet or Boy as i call him is the eldest. He is a 10 year 7month old Collie, Staffie Cross. He is the more nerves of the two but from what i was told he was abused by his old family. People who do that to inocent animals make me sick. Because he is so old no one wanted him and the day i went they were getting ready to put him to sleep so i took him to. He loves the odd cuddle but it has to be on his terms. I'm hopeing with time he will become more confident.

Well with these two in my life i can safely say i'm not going to be lonely any time soon. speak to you all soon.

Love Always Lucy xx

Hello World

As seen as this is my first blog i thought i should tell you all a little about me.

My name is Lucy Woodwood. I was born in November which makes me a Scorpio, and yes i do have a sting in my tail if crossed.

I've been an advice columist for a few years now, its a job i love and that suits me. Its not the only job i've had in my life. I have worked in bars, worked in schools, heck i even worked as a security guard for a short time while i looked for the perfect job for me, which i now have.

As an advice columist i have worked for a few different papers, mainly through itchy feet syndrome (no not an illness or disease). i have never been one for staying in one place for very long. mainly because i have never felt like i belonged there.

Now i've moved to Bon Temps and have started working for the Tribune and i am loving every second of it. The letters i get are sometimes a little strange, and some are nothing like i have had while working on other papers, but a person in need (or vampire, or shifter, or werewolf, or whatever they are) is still someone who has took the time to reach out for help and hopefully thats what i do for them, help.

Bon Temps is a beautiful place and is the first place i have moved to that i have not felt like an outsider. All the people i have met have been warm and kind and made me feel at home so much so that i have no urge to move on like i have done in other places. In fact i can see me living out the rest of my life in the nice little place.

Hope to hear from you all soon. Love Always Lucy XX